aching heart

This whole thing hurts, knowing that I'm not yours. Last night I went home and heard a lot of things my ears didn't want to hear. My heart aches and my head won't let me think about anything else. I feel like I have been trampled by a million elephants, I'm not sure if you can relate but a million elephants is a lot of elephants. His actions have always spoken louder than his words, but I never wanted to listen to what he was doing I wanted to hear what he was saying. Knowing what I know now, I know he never loved me. I have got to move on so that my life will be happier. I have got to put all these bad memories behind me. Here I am, sitting alone because that's how I feel. And there he is, sitting with multiple girls because that's the kind of guy he is. I'm not sure why I pick losers but I do.

Today I didn't move because moving makes me want to cry. I can't even describe the pain I felt when I was told the list of girls involved. My friends are right, I deserve better than this. I just wish it was easier to let this go. You act like everything we had was nothing. You are a good liar, sir. I promise these posts will end but I have got to let all this sadness out in someway or another. After all the empty depression he has given me, it has become crippling. That's me, an emotionally crippled girl who tries to smile.

He used to make me feel so beautiful, but now he makes me feel so ugly.