i'm an israelite

"Haley, do you know why Moses and the Israelites had to travel for forty long, long years?"
Of course I knew, but I wanted to hear her say it. "No, nana, why?"
"Because they never quit looking back. Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you? They had the easy way that required effort or the hard way that looked easier than it truly was. Instead of moving forward to the land God had promised they were stuck in the rut of turning their heads in a direction their heads were not supposed to turn."
"I'm the Israelite, aren't I?"
".......yeah."

Sometimes my head wants to turn in a direction it wasn't meant to turn. My eyes are not supposed to be able to easily glance behind me. Phone calls like this gently direct my thoughts toward better things. When I start letting myself become sad over what happened, things like this happen. Beautiful reminders that I need to look ahead at what is in front of me.

She brought up how I wasn't meant to live past day one. I wasn't meant to be human for more than a weeks time. She mentioned the disease I was tested for and how twenty one was the age limit on people like me. A miracle from God kept me alive so that I could continue breathing along with the rest of humanity. Her voice had little volume as she whispered important bits of wisdom to me. I am a healthy eighteen year old who has a purpose, who God let live for some reason that I am searching for. I find it hard to not look back on the unchangeable aspects of life and I hope that one day it will become easier.

All of us are breathing for a reason. We were made for more than living average lives and coasting through this world. I believe everyone's hand prints of service and change can be made into a beautiful picture. That purpose is still alive as long as you are.