unmixing colors

It's a shame I have to remember you this way.

The last kiss and those last few words are remembered. The organ that hides inside my chest keeps telling me your lips only belong on mine, and it refuses to believe you would share our moments with someone else. I have to force myself to fade out of your life, as if we never knew each other in the first place, as if this new girl will become who I was to you.

The colors of our lives mixed together so well and was put into a frame, I let it hang in my mind for months. We were so connected, so in tune with each others thoughts and feelings. But as the calendar brought on colder months, our colors became more separate and distinct. Instead of allowing you to let me go and move on to the other girls I kept clinging onto my silly beliefs that our love would last. I trusted in our love more than I should have. I kept swallowing my words because imagining my life without your presence hurt more than letting you stay.

It is so hard to recognize the impossibility of us. We were doomed from the beginning, two hurt people letting the fire of love consume them without boundaries. Wisdom was so foreign to what we had which led to a lot of pain when everything came to an end. I will always love you, but the type of love I have for you is changing. I no longer feel the way I used to because you have caused me so much pain, and I now realize time will never bring us together again.

So I stare at the frame wishing the two distinct colors would mix together again, like the idiot I am.