it's okay

Just a little art therapy at one in the morning because my suite mate and I have a hard time letting go of things that are bad for us.

It's okay to not be okay. A smile doesn't always have to be genuine. All it is is a matter of not letting the sadness dictate how your day will go. But sometimes it's okay to cry and for the most part I forget this.

I got to express myself and it was nice to do that in an outlet that doesn't include this blog. The paint covered my brush and my hands and my face as I slung the color toward the canvas. Red represents all the harbored anger and the boy who has made my life a little harder, yellow represents the person I am without him. I'm golden. I'm not red anymore, red no longer can control me. And through this whole process I just remember that it is okay to not be okay. I can be sad or I can be mad, and it is still okay.

Emotions are so hard to express when you fear your own thoughts.

I am happy but I am sad. I have so much joy because I see the light at the end of the tunnel, it doesn't matter the distance, as long as it is there. God provides strength and wisdom through the battles of life.

And I'm not okay. But it's okay.