It is impossible to hug a shadow's neck or kiss the lips of a memory but sometimes I wish it was.
The wind taunts me as it lowers the temperature, reminding me again that it is winter and summer is over. I can feel the presence of everything we had in the same room and when I look up, I see him. Someone needs to cradle my mind because lately it has become more in tune with my heart. He was a thief of time and I secretly wish he would take more. I am so inclined to let this hatred control me but I know better. The words he spoke caused bruises that continue discoloring my skin. Sometimes I doubt my recovery, sometimes I doubt all the progress I have made.
With all that is left in me, I have found enough strength to move on. My heart has finally allowed itself to feed off of a different source other than pity and despair. Walking away from what had become my melancholic comfort has proven to be the hardest steps I have ever taken. It is worth moving forward but realizing I will never be able to look back is terrifying. The conclusion of letting everything go is not welcomed, but my fear will not conquer my need.
Everything is as solid as water and I feel like I am drowning. One day I will be able to think about everything that happened without being phased, just not today.
I want to feel whole again, I'm so broken.
3 steps forward 2 steps back. Don't ever doubt the progress you've made. I can see it and so can everyone else even though it feels like its either getting worse or it hurts more etc you are getting better its just so slow. i love you! Right by ya if ya need me. literally. like you can walk to my room or touch the wall that lies between us. lol. k ill stop i LOVE YOU. but really just allow yourself to feel your emotions when you feel them. that's all they are is thoughts and emotions its how we act on them that matters. that's what i read today. i don't know if this applies but i feel like it does.
ReplyDeleteYou are NOT broken. and neither am I. God makes us whole because in him the old things have passed. (2 Corinth 5:17)
2 Corinthians 4:16.Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day.
I seriously freaking love you.
One day, one hour at a time. You're gonna get through this no matter how rough it gets!
I freaking love you too. You're awesome for helping me get through all of this mess!
Delete