celebrate yourself

She's a dear friend of mine. We both struggle with two completely different set of problems but we bonded over the pain no one understood. When we spill our frustrations to each other there is a chorus of agreement and sympathetic hugs.

The process of healing embedded, deep scars is slow and sometimes frustrating. Celebrating yourself and each baby step is so essential to fully heal. Sometimes it seems as if what you're going through is misunderstood. People tend to discredit pain or belittle a situation that has impacted your life because there struggle is different and more acceptable.

Feeling confident seems impossible when there are chains around your feet, dragging you down at every moment. There was a retreat recently for my club over struggles and how to overcome them. As soon as the theme had been spoken I was ready to turn my back on the night and leave. I found myself sitting in a circle in the "self-image" room wondering why I wasn't in a vehicle on my way back to Harding. Someone asked the open ended question of "why did you choose this room?" and from there I listened. There I was, stiffened to the idea yet girls were pouring out their hearts, emotions, and tears beside me. I found myself volunteering my story and as I spoke my emotions had been turned off. My walls had not come down even while I was sharing what had happened to me. It felt like two hours, two hours of sitting alone in a room full of twenty girls. I didn't cry.

She hugged me and told me that I was worth the world, something I never tell myself. That's when my wall came down and waves of emotion hit me. It was just a hug but it meant everything. I didn't want to let go. For so long I have felt so alone because my deep friendships from last semester have deteriorated or ended up transferring. Sometimes it's nice when pain is acknowledged.

Tomorrow is stronger than today, especially if you master the art of celebrating yourself.