crying produces tears

The sky was crying so I did too.

Each tear that hit my windshield created a tear of my own. I knew I wasn't ready to love him forever and when I decided I was, I wouldn't want to. The love I shared with him was the world's twisted version. My destiny had to be more than becoming someone's somebody, I want to stand on my own two feet. The wind designed an image from the cloud's many tear drops and I continued to let my mind wander around the subject of letting go.

Freshman year is over and I can't wait till Harding welcomes me back for the Fall. I am coming home to an excited family and a few close friends. All these great things are happening and the drive back was still consumed by the words in the first paragraph. These past few months have been full of absorption, absorbing the idea of letting go, the idea of being without him. Then, accepting all of it as a lifestyle.

So I did. & then all communication lines were cut off so I could withdraw myself from all the negative gossip and drama. He's blocked and despite the endless begging, he's still blocked. I refused to go back to something that will never encourage me to be the person I want to be. This summer will be full of breakfast dates with my dad, working with children, loving on the elderly in my area, and building up my church. There are so many amazing things I can accomplish and I just don't want a guy to hold me back from being all that I can be. Especially that guy.

If you're confused about the guy.. here, here, here, here. He's the inspiration to the majority of my depressing posts. I'm relieved to say I'm over him and done with everything. Whew!

I'm just glad to be home now.