a love that hurt

One of my professors was discussing abusive dating and domestic violence, a topic that I have been super involved in lately. She looked us all in the eyes and said “Love does NOT hurt people. If you are hurting, run. If he makes you feel worthless, run. If he disrespects you and your body, run. Love is not telling you where you can and can not go. Love is not abuse. Love is not isolating you away from your family and friends. Get out of the world he has dragged you in and stand up for yourself. Find a love that cures, that is patient, and that is gentle.”

It just really hit home for me. This is why I volunteer at a shelter for rape victims. There is so much pain in this world because of twisted people and sinful lifestyles. I look around and see how much the devil has a handhold in society. It can be depressing.

I love that my professor ended her speech with what to replace what you ran away from with because many women who run away from their abusers forget to do this. Replace all the anger and hatred with another kind of love that is so different than the love you have known.

Most people do not understand the psychology of it, wanting something that is obviously so bad for you. I believe all of us in some way or another have struggled with an addiction whether it be to ice cream, extreme dieting, an abusive boyfriend, alcohol, an eating disorder, or cutting. All of these addictions are not the problem, it is the motive behind the addiction that is the problem. It is the reason why they want what they shouldn’t have so bad. Is it the need for love, comfort, something to ease the pain?

I was shown a love that hurt, a love that made me feel worthless, but I’m on the search for something more. Something that I have only found in God. He gives me a true peace and joy that I have never experienced before and by the grace of Him I am free from the love that hurts, the love that only brought pain.

Life is all about loving your crooked neighbor with your own crooked heart and I'm blessed to be loved and to love back.