walk away

I've never been one to walk away but I'm having to learn.

Life has taught me that pain is something to become accustomed to, not something to avoid at all costs. If friendships are made or relationships are formed with another person, you will end up hurt. People have walked out on me my whole life and I consider that normal. I am not used to people wanting to stay in my life, I am used to seeing the backs of their heels as they walk out the door.

It's just that now I'm scared, you see. I fear emotional connections to people because life has taught me that those connections lead to so much pain. The moment trust leaks out and your heart begins to become comfortable they decide to give up because things got a little harder or freak out when things get a little deeper. When you give your love to someone only to find out that you aren't enough, they aren't content with just you, it hurts. He left me in his heart because he had to find attention from every other girl while I was half an hour away. Those were the last heels I let walk out of my door because no one else is coming in.

I look around and see so much selfishness, everyone is so in love with themselves instead of the people around them. Maybe it's because people carry around a mirror so that they can not see anyone other than themselves and their own problems.

I'm searching for someone who doesn't mind trying to understand me on more than a surface level like he did. I want someone to look me in the eyes and actually care, but it's hard when the people you spend your time with only think about themselves. Open your eyes to the hurting, because the people that are listening to all of your problems might be dealing with even deeper issues themselves.

I just want to walk away from everyone right now, it's just one of those days.