meet the parents

We sat on a bench in the pouring rain listening to the music nature made. He put his arm around me as if it was the most natural thing in the world, he slowly led my hands closer to his. For an hour my fingers were twisted around his and I couldn't help but feel like this was wrong. My hands were not meant to be held by his because I am not a girl that belongs to him. We joked around as friends would but I felt this emptiness inside of me. Being wrapped up in the arms of a guy is what I always talk about, but it will never be the same because he is not the guy I want.

Welcome, new boy. I haven't talked about you before on my blog and I hope you don't give me any more reasons to mention you again. You move way too fast for my liking.

Mister fireworks guy gave me another reason to jump and down as a little girl would. Thanksgiving break is coming up for all of us Harding students so we can go home and hug our families as we eat all of their food. Going home will not be good for me and I was planning on traveling with a best friend to her town so I wouldn't have to face all the haunting memories. As we were sitting on the couch with his arms around me, he asked me to come home with him instead and meet his family. On the way up to his house, we would stop by mine for a couple of days. Guys, this is getting "meet the parents" serious. I'm not sure how I about this because my heart still resembles an open wound that has not been healed yet. The process has been extremely difficult and making a romantic friendship serious might not be the best thing for me right now. Take it slow, Harding guys. I'm an emotional wreck.

My ideal Thanksgiving break would be my ex calling me up and us spending the week together as we pretended it was the summer again. What's wrong with me?