changing colors

Loving him is like driving a new Mazarati down a dead end street. Faster than the wind, passionate as sin, it ended so suddenly. Loving him is like trying to change your mind once you're already flying through the free fall. Like the colors in autumn, so bright just before they lose it all.

Losing him was blue like I'd never known. Missing him was dark grey all alone. Forgetting him was like trying to know somebody you have never met. But, loving him was red.

Touching him is like realizing all you ever wanted was right there in front of you. Memorizing him was as easy as knowing all the words to your old favorite song. Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword and realizing there's no right answer. Regretting him was like wishing you never found out love could be that strong.

Despite everything, we're still burning red.

Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes. Tell myself it's time now, I have to let go. But moving on from him is impossible when I still see it all in my head. Everything is red.

Sometimes love changes colors along with the seasons. Mine went from red to blue, where love was lost and I'm slowly realizing I can't search for it. Everything changed colors because I changed who I was, making the "us" become a "you" and "me." We are now two different people in two completely different worlds, trying to make it work would be impossible. Love used to be enough but feelings can only solve so many problems, until you conclude that the current problem is different than all the others. This problem just needs to be left alone because trying to fix the unfixable is a waste of time.

We were red once, but now we're blue.