& so i cry

These tears I cry are from that good bye. The hardest times in my life involved your name. Nothing is straightened out right now, all we have is an uncounted number of unsolved problems. You seem determined to destroy every bit of recovery I make for myself. Maybe one day our memories will fade so that this will not be so painful. You keep adding more weight to this chain I have around my leg. You will always be a part of that something I am trying to leave behind. All we were was foolishness, anyways.

I always knew where you lead to, but for some reason I still followed. Your steps were my comfort so my footprint became yours. But the ground you walked on was not stable, you lead me to sinking sand. I could never walk on my own as long as I was with you. The scars you left me used to be the wounds I thought would never heal. You were always too dangerous for someone like me. Getting hurt was madnatory if I wanted anything to do with you. So i had no other option and pain became my choice. My emotions took over and I became your follower, I thought you offered love. But the foolishness only led to late nights in my room alone, crying because I loved you so.

And so I cried until my tears ran dry so that when I saw you, I had no more tears to cry. Even though you stole my breath with a  smile and a word, this was never enough. You were always on the search for something better, something different, something "not like me." And when you fell in love as I had fallen in love with you, I watched you walk out of my life. I wish her the same bitter happiness I carried when I was with you.

And so I cried. And cried. And cried.